Not Enough
by ElvenWarrior33
Summary: In the end, neither Luke nor Asch returned to Auldrant. Jade Balfour could not accept it, and so he made another in their place. Lessons are hard to learn, and pain is one of the greatest teachers.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of the Abyss.**

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He turned the glass vial over in his hands, the red liquid sloshing against the sides. A minature ocean, created by the life blood of another success. Last time, the blood sample had shown a high concentration of seventh fonons that showed no signs of immediate dissipation. He was hopeful lrhat this next sample would provide the same result. There was no way to tell if the fonons would remain stable in the far future, but so far, his experiments proved promising.

He deposited the vial in a rack of empty ones until later. The testing was a long, tedious process unfortunately, and usually took him all day. Seventh fonons were hard to detect, and one had to know what they were doing to test correctly for them. He sighed. His ability as a doctor did not mean he could do this any faster than the average person, unfortunately.

Those people that called him the necromancer still existed, even after his part in saving Auldrant. He was unable to overcome his previous reputation. He imagined the whispers only grew louder when he left the room. It meant he could work in peace, however, without any curious questioning his latest project. The public would not react favorably to it. Not even Emporer Peony, his long time friend, inquired about it. If anyone knew anything about his work, they hadn't investigated any further. Or perhaps they just didn't care. What was done was done. No one could fix what Jade Balfour's mistakes, if that was indeed what they could be called.

Tear knew he had continued his study in fomicry, at least, as did Guy, Anise, and Natalia. They believed he was continuing his research to help the surviving replicas. That was true, actually, but it had grown into something of a much grander scale. He was helping himself, he knew, fufilling a selfish desire that not left him for two years. The living replicas appeared to have no problems at all, as their originals had perished before them, making the contamination effect null and void. They could likely live long and healthy, if not happy, lives. It would be diffult for them, being copies of othee humans dead loved ones. The crimes that were rising against replicas were well known. What concerned Dr. Balfour was the replica that had perished along with his orginal.

Luke had not come back as he had promised, nor had his troubled orginal, Asch. Jade suspected that the dissapearing seveth fonons from the world accounted for that. Or perhaps neither wanted to return. They had both lived difficult lives, and may have discovered things were easier or more pleasent in... wherever they had gone. Jade wasn't certain wither still existed anywhere. Had they rejoined with Lorelei? That seemed to be Lorelei's intent all along. Not having the answers bothered him more than he liked to admit.

Luke had proven to him what he'd always known. Death came to everyone eventually, amd life was simply not fair. He had sensed something in the boy from the day they had first met, when the red head's snarky comments had first piked his interest. When he spoke, the way he acted, so outspoken and rash, all of it was something so foreign to Jade, and it caused pity to rise in his cold heart, melting the hardened ice that surrounded it. Luke possesed the kind of innocence that couldn't survive in the world. Like a firework, it flared so suddenly, then went out when the darkness of the night sky consumed its light. True innocence was something Jade had never had, and sometimes doubted even existed, but he knew it when he saw it. Poor child, he'd thought to himself. He was in for a rude awakening when he discovered what the world was truly like. Jade wondered what kind of person he would turn into after it was all over. He thought of the possibilities, and most of them made him frown. Innocence and bitterness were two sides of the same coin.

Jade peeled off his medical gloves and threw them in the trash. He would finish his experiments later. He had things to do before the day was over, and the mental list he had made of them was only half done.

The person that inoccent boy had become was stronger than he had expected. His experiences caused him immense emotional stress, yet he still stubbornly survived. Jade saw the faraway look he had in his eyes when he thought the others weren't looking. They would would cloud over, and his memories and fears reflected in them, playing over and over in a terrible loop. Jade could do nothing for him, and so he walked beside him, watching, waiting to see how far this child could go. People could only push themselves so far before breaking. Luke had forced himself forward through sleepless nights, forced himself to kill, to sacrifice his own happiness, and finally, himself. Jafe had walked by his side nearly until the end.

Jade remembered that very last day, at the top of the false city of paradise, the sun shining over them in a mocking cheerfulness as Luke prepared to give his life away. He hadn't wanted them there to witness him disappear. He had sent them all away, and they had gone, cruel as it may sound. Jade understood. There was nothing more they could do, and perhaps they could at least grant him his last wish. A parting gift, of sorts. After all that time, they were finally done. Done with what? Jade wasn't sure. Traveling, fighting? No. Something else, but he couldn't find the words to say what. But as he ran down the steps of Eldrant with the city collapsing around him, he felt relieved. It was a feeling beyond his control, and he saw no reason to be guilty about it. If there was something wrong with it, he suspected the world would punish him later.

He did not consider his next task work, but he still found himself hesitant to open the door to the spare bedroom in the lab. He had to remind himself nothing would get done if he stalled like this. He had to remind himself everyday. He took a deep breath before turning the lock in the door.

He entered the room still in his lab coat, and a blur of bright red hit him hard in the chest, knocking him into a tight embrace.

"Father!" The boy cried eagerly. He smiled at Jade, flashing a luminous pair of bright green eyes. His hair was a deep red color, and long enough to reach his waist. "Can we spar again today, please? I promise I'll put in extra hours studying."

Jade met his new child's eager eyes reluctantly, and forced a knowing smile onto his face. "You have read through the entire journal as I instructed? You certainly learn fast."

He looked so much like Luke, it was uncanny. He shared some traits with Asch as well, of course. Jade had to use both boys DNA to make a stable replica. But he resembled Luke most of all. His kind eyes, his wild hair, even his smile was a reflection of him, a mirro image that could reach out and embrace him. Jade had truly outdone himself. As miraculous of his creation was, however, he had trouble looking him in the eyes. In those inoccent green eyes, he always saw him. He was never disapproving or pleased, just there, as he was the day he disappeared.

This replica he had created was a ghost of his own memories, reminding him of what had occured. He had known Luke was going to disppear all along. The contamination effect was a universal law. He had done all he could, but nothing could prevent it. One day, Luke would no longer be a part of this world. He could never have prepared himself for the moment the boy realized his fate. That look of hopelessness he had, the reluctant acceptance of his upcoming unwilling sacrifice, was etched into his brain. That burden too, Luke bore alone.

"I read the whole thing," the boy said, holding up the tattered book. "I can't beleive so much happened to me thst I don't remember."

"It's not your fault," Jade replied. "Amnesia is a dreadful thing to live with. I'm sure they will understnad your mental limitations when the time comes." He smirked.

The boy scowled. "I'm not stupid. You can be such a jerk, you know?" He picked up the journal again and flipped to spot near the beggining. "Father, will I meet Tear and the others soon? I was reading stuff over again, and they seem like really great people. They must be worried about me by now. It's been two years, you know?"

"Soon. You have some more training and studying to do first. And haven't I told you beofre? My name is Jade."

"Oops. Sorry, Jade." The redhead gave a goofy smile. A shadow of memory, living and breathing, and he did not even know it.

Was this guilt Jade felt? So now, after all this time, the crushing weight met him. He shook it's icy cold hand like that of an old friend. He had known this day would come, when his memories would return to haunt him, just like they had for Luke. This was his punishment.

He glanced at the sword lying on the bed in it's scabbard. The Key of Lorelei. He had found it in Eldrant, after it had begun to fall. When he picked it up, he knew Luke was already gone. He would never had dropped the sword. It was a he group had debated whether or not ot keep it, and decided to let it be buried under the rubble of the replica land of Hod. Jade had refused, and secretly coveted it to this day. The boy had no idea what it was he had. Jade marveled at the skill the replica had in wielding it. The same skill he had once seen in battle, Luke fighting beside him, had been reborn.

He had given the replica Luke's name. It seemed foolish to call him anything else. He truly was Luke, or at least a piece of him. What a wonderful and cruel thing he had done. When he decided to bring him back to his old life, his friends would never be fooled. He would not have the acceptance he dreamed of.

Fomicry was a dark forbidden thing, as it should be. Jade understood now that you could not cheat death. It always came for everyone in the end. But he was not trying to cheat death this time. He understood that was out of his reach. He could never bring Luke Fon Fabre back, but this, this would have to be enough.

The boy's smile fell from his face. "Is something wrong?" he asked. "You look upset."

Jade wiped the conflicted expression from his face. "No, I am alright. What do you say we get to training?"

"Whatever you say, Jade."

Their voices were each echos of each others.

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 **Honest reviews anyone?  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Author note: I was really surprised at the response I got for this story. It was just a personal theory that I had about the ending, one that I think may actually be possible. This will continue if you all would like it too, and I have a lot of material I could use for it. Just let me know in reviews, which are like the most sanguine candy to a lot of authors.**

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Jade sat on the balcony of his home, staring out at the city. Even at night, Chesadonia was full of people going about their business. The streetlights illuminated figures as they passed beneath them, heading to the bars to drink or to the beach to relax. Jade's own wine cellar had been empty for two years. He'd had to take precautions to make sure Luke didn't get any ideas about trying any of the bottles, and so he had given what was left to Guy. All that was down there now was cobwebs he had neglected to sweep away.

Caring for a replica was a fulltime job, although Luke could care for himself much better now then when he was first born. Birth, was that even an appropriate phrase for him? He had no parents, no siblings. His blood was linked to a family somewhere, but that blood was not his own. Jade was very aware of Luke's silent presence somewhere in the house. The boy hadn't spoken to him for days, or even acknowledged his existence. They passed each every day, but they acted as if they occupied a different space, with an impenetrable wall between them. Jade doubted Luke would ever forgive him for his folly. As retribution, he would never able to put what he done in the past. It seemed fair.

Discovering the purpose of his birth, had broken something inside Luke, and he was trying to piece it back together unsuccessfully. When Jade nodded hello to him at breakfast each morning and he only stared blankly in return, it was if an icy wind had blown open the doors to the house and settled down in a dusty frost in the dining room. Jade usually sighed and kept eating.

Well, at least this one hadn't died, Jade thought bluntly. The professor, the previous Luke, Ion, none of them had survived. Professor Nebilim's second replica hadn't even been born before she had disintigrated into fonons. He hoped this Luke would live, and not be a slave to his genetic code. He found it funny that he hated Fomicry so much, yet it had been his idea, his life's work. His greatest enemy was himself, and his former work his greatest sin.

The cold night wind chilled him to the bone, and he embraced it, breathing it in and letting the shock wake him up from the dream he was sliding into. The door to his bedroom opened, but he pretended not to hear it, nor the quiet shuffling that followed across the carpet. His fingers gripped the railing harder.

Replicas seemed to perish so easily. They slipped through his fingers like sand no matter how tightly you held them, no matter how hard you tried to save them. They were always just out of reach. Destined to die the moment they were born. A tragedy, but all those years ago back in Keterburg, he had done it to being back the dead, to turn back time so he coould fix his then greatest mistake. He had accepted a long time ago that it would happen again and again, replicas dying in his experiments, as long as he continued his study of fomicry. If he succeeded, he used to think, then perhaps he could bring them all back, or if he couldn't, when he finally got it right he could save so many more than he had lost. When he was more mature, he understood that they could never come back, his replicas or their originals. It made it all the more difficult when he finally found a replica he wanted to hold onto, and when he had to let him go too. He had realized what he had done was wrong, but it seemed the world still saw fit to punish him for it.

Creating the new Luke had been cruel. It was never pleasant to find out who you truly are, replica or not. Luke hadn't gone home to his "forgotten" friends and family as he had imagined he would. He had introduced himself to them in Tataroo Vally as the true Luke two years after his creation, at Jade's request. He had believed so completely in who he was, Jade almost believed it himself. The innocence of children was contagious. He was wraught with nervous anticipation that day when he had led Tear, Guy, Natalia and Anise into the valley for their yearly visit to Luke's grave. He had instructed Luke to wait somewhere out of sight until the time was right.

Luke had smiled warmly at Vandestelca's younger sister, whom he believed he was supposed to love. He had someone waiting for him, someone that would happy to see him again, something to go back to. He had taken on the role of the person in that journal, and struggled to remember all of things in it. Reading about Tear in page after page of his journal, she had become a fascination of his. She was the only girl he had gotten to know, and he guessed she must have heartbroken when he had disappeared so suddenly.

Jade had never seen him so enthralled by another human. Luke talked about all of the things they would do together when they were reunited. He wanted to take her dancing, and show her how beautful the ocean was outside the city at night. He was eager to regain what he had lost with her. He found her beautiful, as beautiful as the other once did.

His enthusiasm was made even greater by his other friends as well. Although he couldn't remember a thing about them, he looked forward to reconnecting with his best friend, Guy, and the princess and the fonmaster. Jade had told him they had gotten into a lot of trouble together, to which Luke had responded that was the best way to bond with someone, united by your fear of getting caught.

He craved the peace of mind knowing he has finally returned to them. Heading down into that field of Selenia flowers, their fragerance wafting up to their noses, even Jade was forced to admit he was slightly optimistic. This possibilly could have an outcome different than the one he feared, maybe- dare he hope- better. Luke wouldn't be able to help anyone to forget the past, forget Eldrant and all of those sacrifices that had to be made, but he would be able to fill part of a hole that had remained in everyone's hearts for the past two years. Jade could clean out the cobwebs that had collected their and fill the hole with new flesh and blood.

Tear knew soon after she saw Luke, after she heard his voice, that he was not the one she had been waiting for. She had been to close with his original to make that mistake. There was love in his voice and eyes, but no recognition. She was lying on her knees in the valley, he hair blowing in her face with the breeze. The hope in her eyes had flared to life for one second as she saw her friend approach, then died as she looked again and realized her mistake. Her sobs shook her body violently, and the Selenia blossoms quaked in the breeze. Luke tried to hold her, asking her what was wrong. He didn't understand. She pushed him away and turned around, her hands digging into the white mass of flowers. Luke told Jade later that she reminded him of an angel there, and how sorry that made him feel for making her sad. He hadn't understood what he had done to upset her.

Jade gave his child a sad smile. Luke had his arm around Tear, and whispered confused words of comfort into her ear. His touch made her cry out in distress and push him away. He fell back onto the grass, stunned, and Jade saw the devasted look on his face. He had never seen him look like that. He had no desire to continue, and so he forced his eyes away.

"Y-you disappeared," the distressed girl whispered. "It was a long time ago, and I waited too long when they all knew you weren't coming back. Please, just leave." The words hurt her to say, but she was clearly trying to spare herself the pain of seeing her deceased friend again in sick imitation of the real person. Jade understood.

It had been vain and selfish of him to hope for anything better to come out of this. He didn't deserve it, after all he had done, and this child would suffer for it.

Luke looked like he'did just been slapped in the face. She wanted him to go away. Jade saw the burn of rejection in his slumped body, and the red flush of his cheeks that he tried to hide.

Fomicry was cruel, both for the replicas brought into being by it, to a world that would never accept them, and for the ones who relieved their deepest sorrows as theyou were forced to look upon their lost loved ones faces, alive, but not truly. Watching Luke and Tear, he was reminded of this sad truth. Fomicry had damned so many to a troubled life. Something good had come out of it though, even amongst all of the death and destruction it caused. With all his mistakes, he had one fortunate accident.

One child, one that he was partially responsible for creating, had truly changed the world, something he never believed was possible. He had read about the butterfly effect many years ago studying in Keterburg. He found it hard to believe that a single insect could have such a dramatic effect on the world simply by going through the motions of it's simple existence. After meeting Luke, he found himself coming to believe it, little by little. The boy did the impossible, and each time he paid the price, in blood and with another piece of his aching heart. He gave up his innocence, his peace of mind, and eventually his life. He wondered if the butterfly had died when the earthquake eventually got around to it as well.

Jade helped Luke up off the ground, politely looking the other way when the tears started to fall, and led him back to the nearest inn to plan their trip home, their observers expressions of grief and disbelief following as far as they could see him. There was nothing for them to say to each other now. He was surprised they trusted him this much up to today. He didn't even trust himself that much.

Jade had takeb Luke to St. Binah's in and explained to the innkeeper that his son was sick, and that he wasn't up to speaking right now, and yes, maybe a nice hot cup of tea would do the boy good. Jade noticed Luke was unusually pale. Sickness of the heart, he decided to call it.

He decided to explain to Luke what fomicry was, how he was created, and about his two orginals, even though he lay curled up on the blankets, mute. He owed him that much. Luke asked no questions but listened, sometimes nodding thoughtfully.

Luke hadn't been his normal self since that day. Not that Jade could blame him. His entire world had been torn apart, and no one could give him a reason why. He would have to learn for himself that alot of "why's" simply weren't there to be answered.

He felt the blast of warmth when the door was opened. The railing creaked as a body leaned against it. Luke had joined him on the balcony, but he pretended not to notice. Luke was still dressed from earlier that day, and he yawned, failing to stifle it. He was barefoot.

"Hey," he muttered, looking out at the ocean. The moon illuminated the shifting surface of the water in bright sgimmering lines of white. It had been a striking sight to see from the Tarturus. He realized that Luke had never been on a boat, and that he really should give him the experience one day.

Jade nodded. Luke was staring at him nervously, and struggled to put on a more composed face. "Don't make the mistake of thinking I forgive you. I don't want to be a replacement for anyone."

"I never said you were."

"We both now that's not true."

Luke didn't say anything for a long time. "I need to tell you something. I don't know what's happening to me" His voice echoed his distress, and he wavered a second before continuing. It almost sounded as if he were about to cry. They know I'm here, and I remember. I actually remember being both of them, Jade. I'm not... I'm not _me_ anymore. Or maybe I never was me? I don't understand why, exactly, but I see what they saw, and felt what they felt."

He paced about the balcony agitated, watching his caretakers face for any sign of recognition. Or was it reassurance? There was none to be found." I had a dream last night Jade. He was there, one of my other selves. He'said your friend, he really cares about you Jade. I see him, both of them, in all in my dreams, and even when I'm awake sometimes.

Jade kept a relaxed expression, but he understood what Luke was saying, and what it implied. "Do you sense anything else besides your other self?"

Luke thought for a second. "Yeah, there is a thing that is kind of weird. I always hear noise, like vibrating all around me, when it comes, and I know I feel really warm inside. I don't mind it being there. It feels nice, actually, and safe. It feels familiar, too. Like when you see a person you know you've met before, but it was such a long time ago you can't recall their face. I can't figure out what it is. You know though, don't you?"

Jade smiled, and saw the absolute certainty in the boys eyes. "What makes you think I do?"

"Because you always do. When you don't say it, that means it's something bad. I hoep you decide to tell me before it's too late. It won't be too late, will it?"

"Someone taught me that things aren't always set in stone.

Was it possible for Luke inherit a part of Lorelei from the two sets of DNA he had used to make him? He could be resonating with the sentient being without realizing it. In doing so, he may have gained access to Lorelei's isofons memories. The possibility that the DNA would cause interference with a new replica was one he'd considered in the beginning of the project, but dismissed after concluding that Loreli had taken its isofones entirely back with it. There was nothing left on Auldrant of Luke and Asch fon Fabre of importance that had not been reabsorbed into Lorelei. Whatever remained was only human DNA. But what was this? It was similar as to when Lorelei had called on its isofons before.

"Jade?" Luke poked his shoulder. "You're spacing out. I'm going to bed, okay? When you're ready to tell me, come talk to me, okay?"

He nodded, and heard the door to the balcony slide closed. What to tell Luke, when he did not even understand what was happening himself?


End file.
